The fat around his thighs gavehim decisively feminine curves. His overall demeanour had a distinctwomanly flair. Mustapha had asked him if he would like to change sex andbecome his wife, but Lennie had refused. Although he identified as a womanon the inside, and liked to cross-dress and be Mustapha's sex slave, hewas scared at the prospect of transitioning, and possibly going under theknife to further feminize his body. After Lennie's refusal, Mustapha haddecided to turn to plump, transsexual women who had already started theirtransition.So there we were by the swimming pool, the two of us with our eyes lockedonto each other. The sexual tension was palpable. Mustapha's hairy chestexuded virility, a smell of musk and testosterone. While he held my handvery delicately, a tingle all over my body made me feel lusted over by areal man. For the first time ever in my feminine life. But Mustapha's eyesshowed more than just lust. His intent gaze had a tinge of sweetness toit, that gave me a. So much bigger. People stood outside, in the cold, as the church couldn’t hold them all. They nearly surrounded the little building. I hadn’t imagined.There were people from the homeless shelters, both staff and the homeless as well. There were people from hospitals, doctors, nurses, social workers and I’m sure some who had been patients. There were others too and I had no idea where they might be from. I tried to talk to as many as I could but it was overwhelming. People loved her. They quietly and thoughtfully told me what Mother had done for them, how she had helped, how she had cared. I alternately swelled up with pride, that she was my mother and I her daughter, and then shrank away, diminished in some way by not knowing about this, never imagining what was happening, nearly under my very nose, yet hidden by my blindness.Maddie never left my side. I’d loved my mother and I loved Maddie. She could never imagine how much.I threw the first handful of dirt on Mother’s casket..
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